Why We're Choosing Home Education

It's official:  Katie will be homeschooled!

While most are getting ready to wind down from another school year, I find myself elbow-deep in prep work for next school year.  We've got a notarized affidavit, a list of objectives, and we're fresh off our very first homeschooling expo.

I'm excited.  I'm nervous.  My head is spinning with all the possibilities.

I'm a little overwhelmed.

There's a lot to research, a lot to plan.  We're making our way through curricula and tools and resources.  Trying not to spend too much; trying not to skimp on things.

 

It's been helpful to keep our "why" in mind.  Our why is carrying me through this uncharted territory right now, offering perspective in moments when the going gets a little tough.

We're trying not to make decisions--especially about our kids' education--from a place of fear, or even based on the negative view of a different option.  (e.g. "We're homeschooling because we don't like the teacher-child ratio of traditional classrooms.")

Instead, our why is pulled directly from our family's core belief system.  We have now done cyber school and public school but, at this point, it feels like the choice to homeschool aligns best with what we value most.

Stephen Covey, in Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, said this:

"How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and, keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most."   

Why we've chosen homeschooling. 

 

:: We believe we've been chosen by God to be our children's first teacher.  Many other people add so richly to our children's lives, but we accept full responsibility when it comes to this most important task.  Next to God, there is no one else who loves our children as much as we do, and the best education takes place with lots of love as the foundation.  Who can give this to our kids better than us?

:: The best environment we know of to prepare our children for living their lives is life itself!  We've already seen that the ability to provide learning opportunities within real-life, everyday scenarios is extremely valuable.

:: We want to nurture the natural curiosity that lives in the minds and hearts of our kids.  We're not experts on children by any stretch, but we do know this:  they love to learn.  We believe that we can successfully inspire this best with a home education.

:: We believe that everyone is different, and therefore have extremely different learning styles.  Our kids all have different strengths, weaknesses, and things that work for them. We want to have the freedom to tailor each child's learning experience, based on their needs and desires.

:: Ultimately, we really just want to light a fire.  We want to inspire, challenge, embolden, and call out the passion in our kids. We believe God has big plans for each of them to live a life of zeal, and we believe that starts here and now.  We'll do what it takes on our end to achieve that.

Remembering to remember these things is crucial right now.  In fact, I've found that just putting them in writing here has been beneficial.  I fully expect to have to reach for these many, many more times throughout our journey.  For now, they remind me to just. breath. 

We're doing the right thing.  We're living out our purpose, on purpose. 

And it's not so much about the math curriculum we choose as it is the heart that will teach it.

Busy Seasons and Space to Breathe

 

 

  

 

My Sweet Girls,

It's Monday morning, and I've just finished feeding your brother some breakfast.  I'm sitting here reflecting on our morning, now that I've ushered all of my babes out the door.

You missed the bus, Jyll, because it's picture day and you were committed to showering and blow-drying your hair until it layed stick-straight around your beautiful face.  "It looks more blonde when I blow it out," you told me.  This is quite the shift from your typical morning routine, which usually involves laying in bed until the last possible second, slapping on a T-shirt, jeans, and comfy sneakers, pulling a brush half-heartedly through your hair, and making it out the door just in time to catch the bus.  I can see the shift happening in you... that shift to becoming a young woman.  This morning it was glaringly obvious.   It's scary, exhilarating, sweet.  Oh, how I pray that I am equipped to handle this next stage of motherhood.  My plan?  To just grab your hand and walk with you straight through it.  All of it.

Katie, you nearly missed the bus with the procrastinating and the moving in slow motion.  It's been rough the past few weeks to get you off to school, with the "I don't wannas" and the "But I just wanna be with you, Mommys."  Soon enough, my sweet girl, we will be on the other side of this public school adventure, and we'll be able to look back and say... been there, done that, moved on.  I pray that we are both able to encourage each other enough over the next three months that we can make it through.  I think we can do whatever we decide to do.  Us Strouth women are survivors and thrivers.

I realize it's been a while since I wrote in this space.  It's not been for lack of want.  The season of life that we are currently in has been blissfully chaotic.  We've been through computer problems (our desktop, laptop, and tablet all pooped out on us at once!)  Although I'm taking it as a sign that God wanted us to have a bit of time and space for our souls to breathe, without all the noise that such devices tend to create.  We need that from time to time. 

We've endured my short stint as a deli clerk at our local grocery store, working unpredictable hours and being away from you guys a lot of evenings.  I'm just glad it's over.  I'm thankful that I could contribute financially for our family, but at the end of the day we were reminded that our family functions best when Mom is home taking care of things.  It's just the way we're wired. 

I'm extremely thankful for the perspective that little part-time job brought me though, as I now remember what it was like trying to juggle a job and home and everything and everyone in it.  I have such a deep respect and am in awe at the women who can do it, and do it well.  Before I got the job, my tasks here at home were starting to feel cumbersome.  Mundane.  Not "worth it."  I now remember that every little task I do here at home is just another way of pouring myself into you guys...which is eternal work, and my most favorite job yet.

We've been without our sweet friend, Kaylee, who is more like a daughter than anything, and not having her here with us five days a week is like being without a member of our own family.  She'll be coming back to spend her days with us again in a few weeks, now that her daddy's work is straightened out.  I'm so thankful for the opportunity to care for her while her parents work.  Another little soul to pour into every day is a task, yes.  But again...an eternal one.  I've said it before; I'm humbled by the notion that I'm entrusted to shepherd her little heart.  What an honor.  I can't wait until she's back!

We made it through the perfect storm of sickness.  Since New Year's Day, we've been battling strep, stomach viruses, bronchitis, pink eye, and a whole slew of other various cold/flu-type ailments.  In fact, I spent my 31st birthday flat on my back trying to survive strep.  (And by 'flat on my back', of course I mean curled up as tight as possible in the fetal position, trembling, with a blanket tucked under my chin.)

We survived what I'm calling "The Fastest Holiday Season in History."  (Seriously, it flew.)  Looking back on it still causes my head to spin.  The only pictures I took at Thanksgiving were of us stuffing the bird and putting it into the oven, and then of the finished product.  Twenty people were in our home that day and not a single one of us could remember to take pictures!  It must mean we were busy making memories and enjoying each others company, so I guess it's okay.  Christmas was the same way.  (We now know that 'Baby's First Christmas' when you're the third child means you get about five blurry pictures taken of you trying to eat wrapping paper, and that's about it--at least in the Strouth House.)

And I guess we'll see what 'Baby's First Christmas' looks like when you're the fourth child sometime soon...which is my awkward way to announce that we've decided to try for another baby!  People are starting to look at us like we're weird now when we make such an announcement which, to us, usually means we're on to something good.  :-)

All in all, as I said before, this season of life for the Strouths has been blissfully chaotic.  Life is full of seasons like that.  It's how you deal with it while you're in it that matters.  There have been moments in the past four months that I've wondered what in the world we are doing.  Moments when it felt like we were in the middle of a storm.  And yet, when I look back, I can't see that it was a stormy season.  In fact, there were moments when I've felt extremely peaceful about everything, and that peace just keeps getting stronger as we forge on into the year.  It's the kind of peace that only God can provide, in His time; in His way. 

It's going to come in handy as we move forward.  There are first-ever 5k races to run, surgery to be had, first birthdays to celebrate, and so much more.  No, I don't see that this season is anywhere near over.  But I am confident that we're equipped with whatever it'll take to get to the other side of it.

I love you, ladies.  And whether it's a hectic morning or a crazy season, I feel so grateful to have my family to share it all with. 

Always,
    

When You Need to Feel Better Right Now

Dear Girls,

My friends and I talk rather often about how physically taxing it can be to be a woman. Between the hormones, the stress, and trying to keep all our plates spinning at one time...it can be really tough. Most of us end up putting everyone else's needs before our own on a regular basis and, before we know it, we come to realize that our bodies just can't physically take any more.

The biggest problem with not feeling well physically is that it quickly spills over into everything else. I become a miserable son of a gun when I'm hungry or exhausted, and I find that it's difficult to think beyond my own needs. That's a problem when so much rides on my ability to keep those plates in the air.

And it's so easy to think the worst when we come to the end of our rope physically, isn't it? (I've Googled my symptoms many a time and come up with some pretty serious illnesses.) When really, the answer is this:  we need to take better care of ourselves.  Knowing your body and its limitations can be a huge step in the right direction. Having a list of things you know you must do to maintain the well-being of your body is just as important.

Here's what I do when I need to feel better fast.

>> Drink water.  This is a biggie.  It's so essential to our health, and I can really tell when I haven't drank enough.  The relief comes almost immediately after my first glass.  We've all heard that 8 glasses per day is what we should be shooting for, but I believe it all depends on your size, activity level, and environment.  This article talks about how much you should be drinking, in addition to explaining the many benefits.  Now, I'm not crazy about plain water, but I began adding lemon to it often, and that makes all the difference to me.  Katie talks about putting lemon in your water here.  Whatever you need to do to boost that fluid intake, do it!  It's amazing how good it makes you feel, and the long term benefits are fantastic as well.

>> Exercise.  It seems counter-intuitive, I know.  Sometimes when you're most tired and achy and not feeling well it can be hard to gather the motivation to get moving.  But so many studies show that exercise actually boosts your energy levels, in addition to elevating your mood and promoting better sleep.  (And who couldn't use some more of that?)  For me, my exercise of choice is Pilates.  I find, especially if I'm sore, stretching my muscles with a good Pilates workout helps immensely.  I always walk away feeling better.  Not your thing?  They say a 30-minute brisk walk every day is the most simple, yet extremely beneficial exercise that anyone can do.  No time?  Try these exercises you can do at (or near) your desk.  Can't peel the kids off of you long enough to fit in a good workout?  Try these and make it a family affair.  Whatever you do, start small and start now!  You'll be amazed at how good you feel. 

>> Rest.  Wanna know a secret?  When we feel like we can't take another step...that's our body telling us we can't take another step.  So sometimes all you really need to feel better is a little R & R.  This doesn't mean  taking regular naps in the middle of the day.  (Unless you do...then, more power to ya!)  It means we're taking the time to just stop.  Sit down.  And breath.  I usually do this after lunch while the baby takes his afternoon nap.  I value silence, so I turn everything off and just simply allow myself to veg.  Sometimes I read.  Sometimes I write.  Sometimes I binge on Netflix.  Most times I do nothing but just sit and close my eyes.  But the point is, I'm paying attention to my body's signals and giving myself much-needed downtime.  Take however much time your schedule will allow...even fifteen minutes can work wonders. 

>> Eat.  And eat well.  This is actually one of my biggest daily challenges, oddly enough.  With a husband who's out of the house before six, and you girls to get on the bus at two different times each morning, I hit the ground running every day.  Because of this, it's easy for me to skip breakfast.  By lunch time, I'm so hungry I feel sick, so preparing a meal ends up being a survival thing and I'll eat whatever I can get my hands on the fastest.  (Hello, Ramen noodles.  Again.)  Usually I give a lot of thought to how well I'm feeding my family and next to none about my own nutrition.  But none of this is okay.  Food is fuel, and on days when I fuel my body well, I feel so much better.  I've found a couple of ways to ensure good nutrition throughout my day.  First, a little planning and prep goes a long way.  For example, I'll hard boil some eggs while I'm cooking dinner, then throw them in the fridge for the next morning.  Then all I have to do is grab a piece of toast and a banana, and I have myself a well-balanced breakfast to get me through my hectic morning.  Also, I've found that rotating a few "regular" meals cuts the thinking aspect.  (Because we all know staring into the fridge having to think about preparing a healthy meal is no fun and usually causes you to not eat healthy at all.)  When it comes to breakfast, I'll do the eggs/toast/fruit thing on days when I'm hungry for salty and savory, and oatmeal/fruit when I want something sweet.  It works for me because it's simple and I don't have to think about it.  There's no denying it...the more "clean" foods you eat (free from added chemicals and such), the better you feel.  Not much room in the grocery budget?  You'll be happy to learn that healthy doesn't mean expensive.  This article lists some great ways to eat healthier on the cheap.  

>> Turn it all off.  As in, whatever device you're most fond of staring at for long periods of time.  I recently read an article that shed some light on all the exposure to technology and how it affects us.  I was shocked at some of the statistics.  For example, did you know that when you tilt your head 60 degrees to read your smartphone, you're adding an additional 60 pounds of pressure to your neck?!  (according to Neuro and Spine Surgery journal)  Yikes! Some of the other physical effects of technology include eyestrain, headaches, carpal tunnel syndrome, and tons of exposure to germs and bacteria.  (Even more importantly, I think, is the effect it can have on your mind and your relationships.)  So when I'm feeling "blah" and possibly a little distracted...I turn it all off and step outside.  It's amazing what a little fresh air can do, for both mind and body.  Read the facts and possibly get inspired to unplug here.  

So again, when I'm feeling less than awesome, the solution is usually pretty simple.  It's when I pay close attention to these five things in my daily life that I function the best.  Next time you need to feel better fast, give them a try!

Love,

 



Photo // Unsplash

Have any good tips or tricks that help you feel better fast?  I'd love to hear about it!

Things I Forgot Between Babies

Dear Girls,

Six years between babies is a long time.  For us, that included about three years thinking that we might not have another, and another two plus years trying to actually have another.

So when Evan finally showed up, it was almost like I was a new mom again.  I realized quickly that I had forgotten so many things about this precious baby-stage.  Some of the stuff I probably "forgot" on purpose.  (Hello, exhaustion.)  Other things were a reminder of how sweet this time can be, and had me longing for those days when you girls were my bouncing new bundles.

I want to share some with you now.

37 Things I Forgot Between Babies

1.  That baby smell.
2.  How miserable the last trimester is.
3.  How exhaustion pushes the limits of how tired you can actually be and still manage to function.
4.  Quiet nighttime feedings, when it seems like it's just the two of you in the whole world.
5.  How babies pee with amazing force and accuracy.
6.  The sweetness of nursing.
7.  The challenges of nursing.
8.  How fast they grow.
9.  How being within three feet of a baby makes even the most stoic person talk like a fool. 
10.  The mom bounce/rock/sway and how hard it is NOT to do anytime you're standing up.
11.  First smiles.
12.  How bold people are when they touch your pregnant belly.
13.  The magic of that first meeting.
14.  Why labor is called that.
15.  The ability to do everything one-handed.
16.  First laughs.
17.  How heavy and awkward those car seats are.
18.  How much stuff a baby needs is bought.
19.  How expensive formula and diapers are.
20.  The joy of getting to know this tiny person and watching their personality develop.
21.  How loud and dangerous the world seems when you're bringing baby home.
22.  Being so excited about the next stage.
23.  Wanting baby to stay a baby forever.
24.  How much you're willing to let yourself go and still be able to stand yourself.
25.  How much you're willing to let the house go and still be able to stand it.
26.  How delicious some baby food is.
27.  Babies (and pregnancy) are great conversation-starters. And buffers.
28.  How often medical advice changes.
29.  The well-meaning advice from everybody.
30.  Dreading laying baby down for fear they'll wake up.
31.  Deciding to hold them for the duration of the nap.
32.  The back pain associated with holding a baby for long periods of time.
33.  The quick-witted ability to make up lullabies.
34.  Baby clothes.
35.  Hormones.
36.  How babies are so cute it makes you borderline angry.
37.  Trying to soak up each moment so as to not forget a single thing.

Love,

Do you have anything to add to this list?  Please share in the comments below!

Mothering By Faith

Jochabed used her forearm to push the hair off her forehead.  Her heart pounded and a sick feeling settled deep into her stomach.  Her nimble fingers moved fast and silent, though her palms were slick with sweat.  Every little sound outside made her stop and listen.

It wasn't the first time she'd weaved a basket like this one--she knew what she was doing.  But this one was different; this one held precious cargo.  And if you'd have told her as a young girl being taught this skill by her own mother that one day she'd be using it as a desperate grab at saving her own child, she'd have said you were crazy.  Yet here she was.

She glanced nervously over at her sleeping baby boy.  She felt that lump begin to rise again, and even though she thought there were no tears left, a few more escaped and ran down her cheek as she tried to focus on her work and not the inevitable.

This was it.  This was the boy's only hope.  Her only hope.

And though the doubts seeped in like a foul smell on a hot day, she reminded herself that it was either this...or that.

And that would be the end of her.  That was just not an option.  Not for her and her son.  But she'd watched it happen over and over again in her village; baby boys being ripped from their mother's arms.  She'd heard the cries of the babies.  And the screams of the mothers.  She'd hugged the mothers close as they sobbed and sobbed.  There was a good chance she'd never be able to forget those sounds, though she wished she could.  She knew it would be her soon if she didn't act fast.

For three months she and her husband had been able to pull off hiding their son.  But they sensed that their time was running out before the king's soldiers would be at their doorstep;  it was getting harder and harder to hide the sounds of the infant, who was getting more vocal everyday. 

The basket was done.  It was waterproof, and hopefully the tar and pitch would hold.  She'd done her best to make it comfortable for her baby boy.  Cozy.  She felt it was the least she could do.

As she lowered him into it and kissed his chubby little cheeks and his perfect little lips what she dreaded would be one last time, she caught the gaze of a curious little pair of eyes from across the room.  Her daughter was awake.

Stay strong, Jochabed.  She can sense your fear, she thought to herself, though a moment earlier she was sure she might collapse from the weakness in her knees.

The young girl--Miriam--rose from her bed and made her way over to where her mother stood.

"What's gonna happen, Mommy?" Miriam asked quietly.

"I don't know, sweetie.  I don't know," she whispered, cupping the girl's cheeks in her hands, wishing with all her heart that she had a better answer.  Wishing she knew what was going to happen.  Wishing that it didn't have to be like this.  "Come.  It's time now," she breathed, picking up the basket containing her one and only son, and headed toward the door.  He slept through it all.  Thank God for small blessings. 

She stopped in the doorway and turned back to Miriam. "You coming?"

The girl raced after her mother and followed her into the dark of the night.

It was both the shortest and the longest walk Jochabed had ever taken to the river.  And as she stood on the bank and looked out over the vast expanse of water, she fought back hard against feelings of panic.  Of hesitation.  Her mind spun wild notions of escape.  They could leave it all behind.  Flee into the desert and live out the rest of their life in hiding.  Yet she squashed that fancy quickly, knowing that it would be no life at all and--worse--if they were ever found by the Egyptians it would be certain death for the entire family.

No, this was it.  It was time to trust.  At least this way, her son had hope.  And before she could lose her nerve, she waded into the water, set the basket down among the thick reeds, released it, and turned and walked away. 

***

We know the rest of the story.  It turned out alright in the end for Jochabed and her infant son, Moses.  More than alright, when you consider how God later used Moses for His purpose, and the fact that Jochabed was able to have a hand in that. 

But as a mom?  This part of the story cuts straight through me.  We don't learn a whole lot about Jochabed, but what we do learn is that this woman had faith.   The kind of faith it takes to let go of a basket that's holding your infant son inside of it and let it float down the river.

I feel like I have a strong faith...but that's hard for me to wrap my head around.  And yet there's something familiar in it, too.


Day after day, minute after minute, I am reminded of how quickly I come to the end of myself and have to just simply trust.  Lean.  Do what I can and let the rest up to God.  Have faith.

Especially with this mom stuff.  Too many times to count I have fallen into my bed replaying my day, and feelings of discomfort seep into the deepest part of me.  I've done what I could, and I know that, usually.  But still I worry.

What if it wasn't enough?  I could've handled that situation better.  I should've said this, not that.  I missed this opportunity.  What if it's too late?

I pour my everything into every day and when my weary head finally hits the pillow all I can think about is the ways I've fallen short.  I stress and plan for how I'll do better tomorrow. 

And I wonder...perhaps it's not all the doing our best that gets us as moms; perhaps it's the doing our best, then letting go and letting God do the rest that does us in.

I've learned that one of the hardest things for me to do as a mom is to resist the urge to be the do-all, end-all for my children.  Yet I know my faith is strengthened when I am willing to release my children and my efforts into the arms of God.  Tested, yes!  But ultimately made stronger by this act.

I believe that He honors the simple act of me--humbled to my knees--offering up to Him my bloody, tattered, tear-soaked efforts of all that I am as a mother.  Because ultimately, my children belong to Him, and He loves them more than I ever could or will.  At the same time, He knew exactly what they needed in a mom, and He gave it to me!  And I know that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.  (Romans 8:28)

I have to believe this.  Jochabed did. And He honored that.  And that, my friend, should be so encouraging to us as women!

One of my favorite passages from the Bible can be found in Hebrews.  (Hebrews 11)  There is so much to grab in there about the faith of those who came before us.  Verse after verse starts out with, "By faith so-and-so did this or that."  It even mentions Moses' parents:  "By faith Moses' parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king's edict."  (v 23)

But this is the part I love the most; it goes on to explain how all of these people were known for their great faith, and yet none of them received what had been promised, since basically their stories were only part of God's plan..."that only together with us would they be made perfect."

Did you catch that?!  I think that sometimes we can get to believing that all of the fantastic stories we read throughout the Bible are the whole of God's great story.  But it was only just the beginning.

And what this passage ensures me is that these stories, plus my story, plus your story, plus my children's stories and your children's stories are ALL part of it.  His beautiful story.  He's still writing!  We only need to let Him write it.  This often means doing only what we've been equipped to do and then floating our proverbial baskets down the river for Him to take care of.

So, I can add my name to this long list of faithful characters and interject my children's names as well:  "By faith Amy did her very best to raise up Jyllian and Katelynn and Evan to be godly forces for good because she knew God would honor her efforts."  I like that.  And I love that we serve a God who would want me, you, and other courageous women like Jochabed to be a part of His story.  Don't you?

 I'm praying for you today.  For everything your basket may hold and that you might have the strength to let go of it and let God write His story.

"Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of  faith."  Hebrews 12:1-2 

A Christmas Letter, 2013

My Sweet Girls,

Merry Christmas!

What a year this has been. In many ways, it's been challenging. We went through some big changes as a family and I know you felt the stress even though Daddy and I tried to protect you from it. But you know how I'm always saying that you can learn something from anything or anyone? This year is no exception. You guys taught me some lessons while I was so busy trying to teach you.

Jyllian, you have had to be brave and strong many times this year. Two trips to the emergency room and a messed up start to your school year could've been enough to really break your spirit. But it didn't. I look at you and you're still that fun-loving girl who can light up a room with just your presence. You've proven that underneath all that smiley wackiness is a strong, steady young woman. I am proud of you. You know, we've had to face many of the same things as girls. We're survivors. But man, I never had your spirit and spunk. Thanks for teaching me that sometimes all you need through the heartache is a good belly laugh.

I'm so totally impressed with your hard work this year in school and at home. You've been a wonderful example to your little sister. She's lucky to have you. So is anyone whose life you are a part of.

One of my favorite memories from this year is when you and I were talking about personalities. I asked you if you would rather if I were more like you and not so serious and laid back all the time. You answered no. You told me that you love me just the way I am and that our family needs a little serious sometimes anyway. Do you know how important it is to be able to love someone just the way they are? We're all different, and that's ok. God made us that way. At eight years old, you get that. Thanks for the reminder. You will make a great leader one day...even more so than you already are.

Katelynn. My little honey. You amaze me every day. You have a passion for learning and for loving that I've never seen before in anyone else. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that it's your passion that gets you in trouble sometimes. When you believe something, you believe it passionately and with all your heart. When you love something or someone you do so passionately and with all your heart. When you feel a certain way about something you feel it so passionately that it's almost overwhelming. But it's not always a bad thing.

In fact, my love, it's what will help you find that 'fire in your belly'. Remember when we talked about that? Find what it is and then throw all that passion into it. God will use you for some big things, no doubt. Thanks for teaching me to stand tall and stand up for what I believe in.

I learned your love language this year. You love quality time with people, don't you? This was hard for me at first. Mommy's so "busy" all the time. But I'm trying. My natural way to show love to people is to do things for them. But you've helped remind me that my children don't need for me to clean as much as they do for me to just stop and be. I'm becoming a better mom because God gave you this need.

And thank goodness I'm learning this lesson. Otherwise I would have missed out on our awesome time together the other night. Remember? You and me by the Christmas tree? Daddy and Sissy were busy. We turned out all the lights and hummed and sang and cuddled. Christmases will come and go, but this memory will be mine forever. Thank you.

In fact, you girls have given me many things to tuck into my heart this year. Now I'd like to give you a few.
We've been talking about the first Christmas. You know a lot about Jesus' birth and what it means. But did you know that there are lessons we can learn from the Christmas story that are important to our everyday life?

Like Mary. She was scared and confused when she found out that she would be giving birth to Jesus. That would be scary, huh? She couldn't believe that God would use her for such a big job. But she obeyed anyway. And submitted herself to Him. She called herself His servant. She teaches us that when God calls on us to do something big, we should obey and give ourselves to Him. Remember her when you're scared and you think you can't do what you're being asked to do. You can.

Remember the shepherds? They were just a normal group of men, seemingly unimportant, working and minding their own business. When the angel appeared to them, they went to find Jesus and, when they found Him, they dropped to their knees and worshiped Him. They told everyone they met about the miracle they had seen, and they praised God for it. I pray that the miracle of Jesus Christ is always enough to bring you to your knees, and that you never stop praising God and proclaiming the good news to all who will listen, no matter how busy you are. Just like the shepherds.

Even Joseph, who we know very little about, had a lesson to teach about faith and trust. Imagine it--being engaged to a girl, only to find out she's pregnant and you're not the dad!? Disappointed, he had already decided to break it off with Mary when an angel appeared to him and asked him to trust God, even though he didn't understand what was happening. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? I want you to have faith and trust Him in everything, even in the unknown. God is good. And that's all we need to know.

We can even learn from the wise men. I learned that they were very smart. The kind of people who are always learning and finding out about things. (Like you guys!) When they found out about Jesus, they followed a star to find Him and worshiped Him once they did. Girls, it's okay to be smart and to want to figure things out. But sometimes it's best to just believe. Never stop following that star in your heart that says that God most certainly does exist, and He lives in you.

And ladies...remember this:

The rainbow always comes after the storm. And as long as you learn from your struggles and remember that you are being made stronger because of them, that rainbow is going to be all the more beautiful.

Thank you both for who you are and what you do for our family.

I love you always.

Love,

What have you learned this year? What is your favorite thing about the nativity?

A Pictorial Debut

Dear Girls,

This was our first glimpse at Evan Tony.  The beautiful words of David kept running through my mind while we listened to his heart beat.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Psalm 139:13-16

Head is to the left!

What a miracle.  Praise God!

Love,

A Story and An Announcement

We took a family camping trip a couple months ago, and on the way home we saw the funniest thing--a goat. The goat was standing in a field surrounded by grass as tall as its chin. And it was really going to town munching on this grass.

Normal, right?

The thing is, the goat was standing next to a fence. And for whatever reason, the grass that was outside of the fence and way out of reach of this goat was the only grass it was interested in eating. So it stood there--again, surrounded by all this tall grass--and craned and contorted its neck over and under and all around this fence just to get the slightest taste of the grass that grew outside of its fence.

I thought, "Isn't that funny?! What the heck is wrong with that goat?!"

But two more hours in the car, a naturally introspective mind, and an insatiable desire to find an object lesson in everything left me with this realization: I am that darn goat. And this grass-is-greener thing can really creep up on you if you're not careful!

I wrote that as a social media post for Our String of Pearl's Facebook page.

This picture came first:

I had created the image with a plan:  to write a whole post on the subject.  I figured I'd accumulated enough experience to be able to do so. 

This whole thing--the grass is greener thing--had started to creep up on me and it was getting pretty painful.  Here's what that was all about...

We'd been trying to have a baby for two and a half years.  When we began tossing around the idea of growing our family, we had decided that the best thing we could do was give it to God.  So, I stopped getting birth control injections, and we began the process of letting it go.  We assured each other that when--or if--it was time, He would bless us with another child.

Surrender, we found, was so much easier when it was kind of a far-off notion we had just tossed around a few times.

But you could say we got used to the idea of having another baby.

Liking it, even.

Then it became a desire.  Suddenly we were so sure that a son would perfectly complete our family, and therefore, the opposite was true...without a son, our family wouldn't be complete.  I began counting cycle days and bookmarking articles on conception methods.  Which isn't something there's necessarily anything wrong with.

What was wrong was that our posture had gone from open-handed submission to closed-fisted frustration.

Month after month we tried and month after month we were disappointed.


By the beginning of this past summer we were convinced that it just might not happen for us.  And to make matters worse, it seemed like we were surrounded by pregnant women and babies.  Baby boys, to be more specific.  It was torture.

Then God started working on me.

I can't remember exactly what the circumstance was.  If I'm being totally honest, I was probably on Pinterest pinning things to my "Baby Fever" board.  (Yeah, it was that bad.)  But I remember seeing a picture or reading an article or something and--for the first time in a long time--thinking, I've been pregnant twice already.  I have two beautiful, healthy children.  Our family is beautiful and complete just the way it is.  I believe God whispered that to my heart.

Suddenly I realized that I'd been so obsessed with the desire to conceive another baby that I'd been missing what was right in front of me all along.  I'd been missing the blessings my life was already so full of.  He finally (lovingly) asked me to stop, and thank goodness.

I finally felt free to let go of this picture that I thought was going to be perfect if only--and see what was so perfectly perfect all along.  Free to really see the miracle of my sweet Katie Paige again.  My sweet, strong, determined little lady who is suspended somewhere between being able to pour her own drinks and yet is still able to be brought to that baby belly laugh when Daddy tickles her real good.  And my Jyllian Olyvia.  There are times when I look at her and see this incredible young woman...in the way she looks, the way she talks, the way that she relates to people.  It's hard not to see glimpses of the woman she's becoming, and I love what I see.

And the incredible miracles that they are began in me.  Once upon a time I sat in anticipation, so anxious to meet them.  I sang to them, talked to them, worried about them.  Felt their first kicks.  Agonized over itchy pregnant bellies and hurting hips.  I willed them into this world and from the moment I laid eyes on them I loved them each more than anyone has ever loved anyone or anything.  They're mine and they're a gift.

I hate that I spent a single moment forgetting that.

But, back to the camping trip.  That was late July, and by that time my heart had begun to take this turn.  So when I saw the goat on the way home, I immediately recognized that I must look just like that poor soul.  Totally surrounded by beautiful, yummy, tall grass and yet completely miserable because it wasn't the grass I wanted. 

Totally ridiculous.  And that was my stance for a little while.

We stopped trying.  Well...I stopped counting days and all that jazz. :-)

And then...

The yes.

This test was taken on September 11.  We see the doctor for our first ultrasound tomorrow.  As far as we know, Baby Strouth will be welcomed into the world in early May.  We're so excited and humbled all at the same time.

And as I sit here sick as a dog, I can't help but smile and think how so many times in my life I've been reminded to just. let. go.  Just water the grass where I stand, and God WILL take care of the rest.  No matter the outcome, it's always perfect.  Always.

Again, for the First Time

Dear Girls,

I adore a new notebook.  (That's where you get it, Jyll!)  The possibilities are endless.  Somehow the clean, crisp pages represent new beginnings, a fresh start.  That's exactly what I needed back in May of 2012.

I'd purchased the notebook to use as a journal, though I'm not sure I knew then how sweet it would be to be able to look back and read the beginning of our love story...mine and God's.  I remember being unsure of what I should write first.  (Again, the possibilities are endless...that's torture for my personality type!)  I'm pretty sure I owned the thing for at least three solid weeks before deciding what to write first.

Then I sat in church on Mother's Day and listened to our pastor explain what it meant to be a Proverbs 31 woman.  And I knew that was it.  I remember hearing those beautiful words for the first time and knowing that that was exactly the type of woman I wanted to be.  It was the perfect place to start.

Sometimes I think we can beat a thing to death.  We can analyze it and blog it and spin it and insert it just so into the places where we need it, when we need it, exactly how we need it.  There's nothing wrong with interpretation.  It facilitates understanding and application.

Yet there's something so beautiful about viewing a thing in its raw form.  Or through the lens of first-time discovery.  Which is why, this morning as I cracked open the pages where I scribbled the newborn baby steps of my spiritual journey, the beautiful words nearly took my breath away.

I know I am not the woman I was back then.  And perhaps it's the look back at the bittersweet, up-and-down landscape of my journey toward becoming the woman God meant me to be that brings the flood of emotion.  It's been tough.  It's been wonderful.

But the time has come to start a new journal; another new beginning.  And I am so glad to be able to go back and remember those first moments.  My child-like faith; when I hung on every single thing I read in His word and every single one had the power to just totally slay me.

I felt that again this morning.  And not that it's been long since I felt that, but...this passage.  I remember.  I remember resolving to become this woman what seems like a lifetime ago.  I had written it down eagerly and promised myself that I'd read it every day to remember who I was made to be.  I've messed it up at times, but I've also nailed it.   And the journey continues. 

In case you find yourself in need of a reminder today as well, I invite you to read with me Proverbs 31:10-31, right where you are.  Let it encourage you and challenge you and convict you, just like the first time.

Enjoy.

Love,

The Wife of Noble Character

A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her, 

and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax

and works with eager hands.

She is like the merchant ships,

bringing her food from afar.

She gets up while it is still dark;

she provides food for her family

and portions for her servant girls.

She considers a field and buys it;

out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She sets about her work vigorously;

her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable,

and her lamp does not go out at night.

In her hand she holds the distaff

and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

She opens her arms to the poor

and extends her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed;

she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Her husband is respected at the city gate,

where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them,

and supplies the merchants with sashes.

She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband, also, and he praises her:

"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Give her the reward she has earned,

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31:10-31, NIV      

What about you...do you have a verse that makes you want to be a better woman? I challenge you to revisit it today and see it with fresh eyes--just like the first time.

 

Sorry to Have Broken Your Heart

Dear Girls,

As a mom, one of the most painful things you'll ever have to endure is watching your child hurt.

When you were babies, I wanted to rush to you upon hearing your cry.  I kissed your boo-boos to make them "all better."  The thought of you being bullied causes me to want to turn the world upside-down just to seek justice for you.

It's quite a natural phenomenon.  It's in us.

Yet there are times, I believe, when I must let you hurt.  There are times when I must step back and allow natural consequences take over so you can learn a lesson.  An incident occurred Monday morning that caused this to be at the forefront of my heart.

At 5:30, I was awakened by you, Jyllian (9) who, in a panic, rattled THIS off to me:

"Mom!  I need you to get up right now!  I have a field trip today and I meant to tell you about it but we got busy over the weekend and I forgot and I need to find my permission slip and you're gonna need to pack me a lunch and I need my S.M.A.R.T. shirt and I'm sorry I forgot to tell you but I need you to get up now okay?

Mom?

Did you hear me?!"

I struggled to open my eyes and mumbled the only thing I could think to say at the moment:  "What?"

You repeated a slightly different version of your speech, and as you finished I knew my day was already off to that kind of Monday morning start.  You know the kind.

So I dragged myself out of bed, and by the time I was done preparing my coffee I had already been through a whole crazy spectrum of emotions.

At first I was angry with the school.  I thought, Really?!  Geez!  Four days before school ends and they're going on another field trip?!  Good grief, they just went on one last Wednesday!  Why are they even required to go this last week if they're not even doing any academics?!  Ridiculous!

Then I was frustrated with you because you have always struggled with being organized and remembering things.  I pictured you at school on Friday, at the end of the day, busy talking, and laughing, and--well--worried about everything BUT bringing home your important paperwork.  I shook my head as I wondered if you'll ever get it together.  Then again...you are a typical nine-year-old girl.  So.

Then, in true mama fashion, I switched into problem-solving mode.

I thought, Okay...where's the S.M.A.R.T. shirt?  Crap, it's dirty.  Alright, that's okay, give it the sniff.  Good, it doesn't stink.  I'll throw it in the dryer to get rid of the wrinkles.  Now...let's check the book bag.  Maybe she overlooked the paper.  No, not in there.  Crap.  What if I write a note?  Yeah, I'll write a note.  Or should I shoot her teacher an email?  No...a note.  That'll give them written permission.  Yep, no biggie.  We'll figure this out.  I'll fix this for her.

And that was my intent.  I couldn't stand the sight of your little eyes brimming with tears.  I couldn't bear to think that you would have to watch your friends and the rest of the entire third grade leave, and would have to sit in the office for the entire day.  Doing...work! <gasp!>  

But something happened as I stood there next to the running dryer praying through it and waiting for your shirt to fluff.

I realized that, while it may be easy (and satisfying!) to save the day...it might not be the right answer here. 

Because what would I be teaching you if I fixed this?

Jyllian, it's okay for you to be irresponsible with your important school papers and wait until the last minute to tell me things.  Although I'm trying to teach you responsibility and organization, I'm here to bail you out--even if it means totally stressing myself out and bending over backwards to do so.

No.

Organization and remembering the important stuff are biggies on your list of things we're working on.  It matters.

So..I turned the dryer off.

I walked upstairs empty-handed and sat down next to you on the couch.  And prepared to break your heart.

I told you I was sorry that you would be unable to go on the field trip, but I had no control over it at this point.  (A half-truth.)  I reminded you that this is why it's so important that you bring home your papers.  I explained that I would not be doing my job very well if I didn't allow you to face the consequences of being unorganized. 

Your tears flowed easier now and your face was red, and I felt like I might as well have been taking away your birthday.  And Christmas, and Easter, and summer vacation.

And it hurt.  Bad.

But I found myself clinging to these three truths as I watched you finish getting ready for your day, with your world so obviously crumbling beneath your feet.

This is the time to equip and prepare.  Pop and I have come to a conclusion that has drastically changed the way we parent:  We are not raising children, we are raising adults.  We've learned that our role as parents is not to make sure our children have the best of everything and never have to face challenges or experience heartache.  Our role as parents is to give you a realistic view of the world we live in and then equip you with what you'll need to navigate the rough waters.  Things aren't fair.  Life is hard.  And I want you guys to become individuals who are responsible, well-adjusted, and know how to hear the word, "No."  It's okay for you to be upset.  It's okay for you to be angry.  And while it may be painful for me to watch, the sooner you learn that the world is going to keep on spinning anyway?  The better.  Because it will.  Trust me.

Actions have consequences.  And so does lack of action.  I'm constantly trying to get you guys to understand the cause and effect principle.  What parent isn't?  If you don't put your bike away, it will get stolen or damaged.  If you do not feed and water the hamsters, they will die.  If you are unkind to others, they will not want to be around you.  And if you neglect to bring home your field trip permission slip for Mom to sign, you will not be able to participate. It's really very simple.

My goal is to replace myself.  It was hard to take my cape off that morning.  I could've easily become the hero of the day.  Admittedly, at first I fantasized about presenting you with your shirt and a handwritten note that gave permission for you to go and watching you beam lovingly at me while I packed you a sack lunch.  But.  My emotional stance should never be that I need my children to need me.  I never want you to think that I am the do-all end-all, and that whatever it is that you're going through, I ALONE have the power to take care of it.  I've realized through my spiritual journey thus far that I should be pointing you away from myself, and toward a God who can handle it all.

The desired fruit of everything I'm doing right now in this season of life comes down to this:  I want my children to be responsible, independent people who live their lives for the glory of God.  I need to be willing to do what it takes to make that happen.  Even the hard stuff.

Now, the funny thing is...you went on that field trip.  I had sent you off to school that day minus your special shirt and brown bag lunch, add plenty of tears.  But as I sat here stressing and wondering where you were and what you were doing and shedding a few tears of my own, the phone rang.

It was your counselor who, while she agreed with what I was doing, was unable to have you stay behind because there would be no one there to be with you.  And after I gave my verbal permission and hung up the phone, my heart leaped a little.  I recognized it as a gift.

Because I think I passed a test that morning.  Like us, God is a loving parent willing to shower His children with blessings and gifts and love.  It's in Him.  (Where do you think we get it?)  But, He's also willing to do the hard stuff in order to teach us the lessons we need to learn.

And I don't know if you "learned your lesson" that morning.  Probably not completely.  Just like your mama, chances are you'll need to have it taught to you several more times before you get it.  And that's ok.  I have A LOT of staying power.

But I pray that you are willing and able to do what it takes to give your children all of those gifts...the love and the hard stuff...whatever that may look like for you today.

"Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.  Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.  They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court."    Psalm 127:3-5

 Love,

Photo // Death to Stock

Have you ever had to break your kid's heart? What lessons have you had to teach them "the hard way?"

 

The Gate

Dear Jyllian and Katelynn,

Oh, the wonder of childhood.

I can see it in you; the way your eyes sparkle and dance when we play.  The sweaty, red-faced breathlessness of pure joy.  The way you look at me when I collapse to the floor and become a tangled heap of arms and legs with you.  (Those little feet and armpits aren't going to tickle themselves, you know.)

It causes me to remember a time--not so long ago--when slipping between the slats of that fence which divides this world from a lovely daydream was so easy... 

Anne was my best friend, and we roamed the expanse of Green Gables together many a hot summer day. Sara Crewe knew just how to bring out the best in me, with her kind demeanor and heart for the outcast.  She, too, knew heartache and trouble, yet she taught me that all little girls are princesses, no matter what.  This is all in addition, of course, to the hours I spent in the midst of a wild adventure while I waited for my prince to come save me.

You girls are there.  You are my gate back into that world with your endless games of make-believe and magic.  You invite me in...to that place where the world is much simpler, because you're going--with or without me.  There are battles to be won and friends to be saved and horses to be ridden in this other place.  Oceans to explore and tea parties to be had along with grand feasts of dandelions and grass in a thick muddy sauce. 

I am so thankful for this gift.  Thankful that you would want me to join you there, and thankful that I'm still captivated enough by the beauty of that place to accept your invitation.

Praying today that you are still able to fit between the slats for a long time to come.  Or peer over the gate, at least.  It's beautiful over here.  Thanks for bringing me back.

Love,

  

What about you...where have your kids taken you lately?

"I Wanna See Jesus!"

Dear Girls,

So...Katie, you discovered the voice recognition search feature on my phone a couple of weeks ago.  And now you're totally obsessed.

It's actually pretty cute to watch.  You touch the microphone key and patiently waits until it's time to speak.  When the time comes, you blurt out whatever comes to mind first and insert "I wanna see..." or "Show me a..." in front of it.

It's usually pretty random.  I've heard you say, "I wanna see what a cavity looks like" followed by "Show me a submarine" and then, "I wanna know what milk is made out of."

It's adorable.

And it's funny...you don't even click on the search results that come up.  What you do is check for any images (since you can't read yet) to confirm that it did, in fact, hear your request and heed it properly.  If so, you move on to the next request.  Like, Tourretes-style.

The problem is that the voice recognizer thingy doesn't always "hear" your request properly.  So something like, "Show me how a pencil is made" will turn into "Shoby cow apprehensive dismayed" which obviously doesn't make a lick of sense and doesn't produce the results you want.  You do not take to this very well.  Especially when it happens several times in a row.

Just the other day you were "doing your research" while keeping me company as I took a shower.  (You're so sweet like that, knowing that I can't possibly stand to be alone for even a few minutes!)

Ahem.

Anyway.

Going about your usual, my poor phone clutched in your hand, you requested to see everything from what a human heart looks like to Little People videos.  Then you said it:

"I wanna see Jesus."

Apparently it didn't work, so you said it again.  A little more slow and pronounced this time.

"I want to see Jesus."

Nada.

Again, and I can hear the frustration in your voice.

"I want to see JESUS!"

Still nothing.  And at this point I'm trying to imagine what in the world it's actually coming up with.  But you were getting desperate and finally lost it...

[shouting, in true Katie fashion] "I SAID...I.WANT.TO.SEE.JE.SUS!!!"

And man, I can't get that outta my head.

I'm learning that out of all the things we teach you girls and of all the ways we try to keep your eyes on God, this one's a biggie...are you seeing Jesus in me? 

Are you seeing Jesus in me when a car pulls out in front of me while I'm driving?

...when you hear me talking with friends?

...when things are tense around here and I'm tempted to just flip?

Have I showed you that He is the Lord over my life and that I have surrendered it to Him completely?

Do my actions reflect Him?

And I know you're watching. My heart's burning desire is that you girls will grow to be women who love Jesus and will have a heart to show the world what He looks like.  In order for that to happen you need to learn what that looks like--and you'll learn that first through me.

I send you to school every day and pray for opportunities for you to shine the light into the dark places.  I pray that for myself as well, though I fear that sometimes when those opportunities arise, my flesh takes over and I find that I'm not always up to the task of allowing my Savior to shine through.  It happens.

But man...if the world has ever needed to see Jesus, it is now.  Every single time I turn on my computer or read the news or overhear a conversation, the only thing I hear amidst all the anger and perversion and hatred is:

"I want to see Jesus!"  Just.  Show me Jesus.

Not judgement, not condescension, not religion, not doctrine...

Just...Jesus.  That guy who hung around with sinners, not condemned them.  The guy bold enough to confront the "righteous" and make them think twice about the stones in their hands.  The guy always willing to stop and love on people and meet their needs no matter how tired or busy or overwhelmed he was.  The guy who dared to speak to the lowly women, or children, or even lepers, no matter what the popular beliefs were.

That man who was willing to speak and hold onto the truth--at all costs. 

Our Jesus.  We know him and love him.  A lot of the world does not.    

So today, I pray that we can all have the strength to courageously, unashamedly, and unapologetically show Him to the world.  In our home, at school, and everywhere we go.  Let's walk the walk.  I believe they really do wanna see it, don't you?

Love,

Photo // Death to Stock

Is there someone you know who needs to see Jesus today? What's one thing you can do to show them?

Imperfect Pearls

Dear Girls,

In the last twenty-four hours I have yelled at you, Katelynn, like a mad woman, for not wanting to get out of your sister's side of the car (last night) and refusing to get your shoes on (this morning) and had a fight with Dad for being "unjustifiably offended" by something I said (right before bed).

Way to go, mom.  Good job.

Even as I write this I can hear that voice inside me whispering, "But she had been demanding and disrespectful nearly all day long yesterday and that last one was just the last straw.  And him!  All I was trying to do was have a simple conversation about something.  He didn't even listen to what I was saying.  He didn't even try to understand where I was coming from!"

Part of me believes that my reactions fit the circumstances.  I am only human, after all.  It seems I have a threshold for the amount of crap I can take in and still manage to keep my words and attitudes smelling like roses.  And man, some days my cup runneth over--with crap.

And then there's that part of me that hesitates to even be writing about this because there's this thing that goes on inside of me and a lot of other women that makes us want to present our life as a pretty little highlight reel of precious moments that make it look a certain way.  A way that it's really not all of the time, is it?

A quick check of my Facebook and Instagram profiles would be evidence of...what?  All of the beautiful stuff and none of the ugly?

I mean, I think that's fine--to a point--because I am happy and our life is beautiful and we do have a wonderful, close, family.  Usually.  And I do believe wholeheartedly in being a light in this dark world instead of another negative, bitter soul.  So I try to be that bright spot in others' news feeds.  

But yet here I am today.  Using the word 'crap' to describe what's going on inside of me in this moment .  And boy is it easy for me right now to sit here and think of all the ways my family has poured that yuck right into me over the past day or so.  With your constant needs and complaints and demands and negativity and ungratefulness and more needs and more demands and just so. much. crap.  

I mean...is this okay?  What in the world am I doing here if I'm not bearing my heart?  Even when it's full of...crap?  I feel like you need me to be transparent here.  Because I know for a fact that you both are going to have days like this yourselves.  Lots of them.  And I guess I just want you to know that I relate. None of the pearls on my string look alike and you know what?  A lot of them are misshapen and imperfect.

Some nights I do sit and quietly string my pretty, shiny, round ones just so.  I smile and reflect on a day when I've gotten most of it right.  And that's great.  Let's rejoice together. 

But sometimes?  Oh boy.  Sometimes I look at my pearl and the color's not right, the shape is dumb, and it annoys me how no one's concerned about how hard I tried to get it to form "the right way" and so I throw it across the room to be found and dealt with in the morning.

You will too.

So let's smile and laugh AND cry together.  Be real with each other.  Life can be so beautiful, yet so ugly and imperfect too.  At the same time, even.  I know.

Yesterday started off great.  Yet by the time I drifted off to sleep it had turned U-G-L-Y.  (And I ain't got no alibi!)  But seriously, there's no excuse for the way I reacted to you, the ones I love most.  True, I am only human.  And I do have a threshold.  But I draw from a God whose grace is constantly flowing and never ending.  My job is to receive that and then turn around and pour it directly into my man and my girls.  If it gets stopped up somewhere in my heart--that's my issue, and I need to fix it.  A lot of days that is so hard to do.  I thank God for His grace that allows me (and you) to do just that.

So...the next time you find yourself stringing one of those "ugly" pearls, know that I get it.  Our strings aren't just made of those perfect little gems that we're proud of.  It's okay.  I promise to show you my ugly ones too, so that you know you are not alone.  You are never alone. 

And I am so sorry for days like yesterday.

For now, you'll have to excuse me.  I need to go clean out my cup.      

Love,

   

What about you? Are you willing to put your imperfect pearls on display? (There's not a more beautiful way to preach the gospel to your kids or the people around you.)